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Author Topic: Driving in Dallas  (Read 2934 times)

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SouthernXer

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Driving in Dallas
« on: December 30, 2006, 10:12:45 PM »

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-US, not DAL-ISS.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules. . ."Hold on and pray".

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas . We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". . . Which has no beginning and no end.

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7.

Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing into all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

We had so much fun with that, that we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth ."

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.

Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.

All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. PERIOD.

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road ,Buckingham -- all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples).

The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the South end it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave. K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman , TX , near the state line.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas or Ft. Worth , you must have knowledge of Spanish.

If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet.

If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, or Oak Cliff, you better be armed.

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of two hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway . Don't let this confuse you.

The North Dallas Toll Way is our daily version of NASCAR. It also ends in Sherman .

LBJ Freeway is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap".

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on.

If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, and it is Spring, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round.

If it is Fall, the Texas State Fair is going on.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $5.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his 'yard', run over him.

All amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

With these simple rules in mind you are now ready to drive in Dallas .

Please try and keep up.
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Snake Doc

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2006, 07:10:49 AM »

 ;D
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HeadGuess

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2006, 07:59:53 AM »

You know about that Plano Road thing. I called the Plano Police department to report a crime in progress once and they had no idea where I was talking about when I told them the guy was on Plano Road (which in this area is Avenue K) just south of Spring Creek Road. Even though this is Avenue K here one would think the specific location (just south of Spring Creek) would have give them a clue. I got pissed at them and hung up.
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hooter

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2006, 10:04:26 AM »



With these simple rules in mind you are now ready to drive in Dallas .
[/quote]

Brad you nailed Dal-us right on the head O0 O0 O0
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D LMAO ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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pacrat

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2007, 09:20:25 PM »

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.  However, it's spelled Dallas so the correct pronunciation would be:
DAL AS$.  Spent some time off of Greenville Ave and Harry Hines back in the mid 70's going to schools for the old SW Bell.  Some good times were had by all!  I think?
 
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snake

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2007, 09:55:18 PM »

That's pretty good when you had such a good time, you can't remember it!!! ;D
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pacrat

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2007, 08:46:44 AM »

and living through it too!!!
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Snake Doc

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2007, 11:24:12 AM »

Dallas; I spent a week there one morning. 
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pacrat

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2007, 01:59:52 PM »

Snake Doc, I think I remember that week.?
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Snake Doc

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2007, 02:34:38 PM »

Dallas; where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.
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Blueflameguy2

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2007, 11:29:50 PM »

isnt dallas really just south oklahoma?
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Snake Doc

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2007, 02:52:04 AM »

isnt dallas really just south oklahoma?

It's proper geographic name is "Baja Oklahoma."
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milokyal

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2007, 08:14:18 AM »

You forgot to mention the incoming hail storm and the mad dash for an underpass and park halting all traffic on the freeway.  Experience here left me stranded on a 635 parking lot being pelted with baseball hail. 
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Blueflameguy2

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Re: Driving in Dallas
« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2007, 10:08:16 AM »

You forgot to mention the incoming hail storm and the mad dash for an underpass and park halting all traffic on the freeway.  Experience here left me stranded on a 635 parking lot being pelted with baseball hail. 

oh no, its not just the hail.....  i got stuck on 45 headed into dallas because everyone was parked under the overpass just because of some friggin rain!!!!
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