It feels rushed, try to slow it down. a few of the lyrics were just to many syllables to fit into the general background melody, Found my self counting the beat of the words, not the beat of the melody. This really stood out in the chorus, esp the line "who have furniture and other things" 9 syllables, repeated 3 times in the song... so it REALLY stood out.good song! great subject! awesome potential!
Wow. Little before 2am, just got in from playing and drinking with some guys in Pasadena.What great feedback. I appreciate every single one of you more than you realize for lettingme know what you think. And Bryce, excellent observation, because I'm rushed quite a few places but what you picked out was the worst of it. What you described as the syllables being unaligned with the melody is called "prosody" (sp). I learned that word a couple of months ago. I'm sensing some musical background in the IsorgEveryone was great to say something. The comments were meaningful and helpful....except Gabe. But I'm accustomed to that. Thanks again.MartinPs Thanks Noob. We posted at the same time. You must be coming in to.
Quote from: VT-XS on August 25, 2009, 12:55:08 AMWow. Little before 2am, just got in from playing and drinking with some guys in Pasadena.What great feedback. I appreciate every single one of you more than you realize for lettingme know what you think. And Bryce, excellent observation, because I'm rushed quite a few places but what you picked out was the worst of it. What you described as the syllables being unaligned with the melody is called "prosody" (sp). I learned that word a couple of months ago. I'm sensing some musical background in the IsorgEveryone was great to say something. The comments were meaningful and helpful....except Gabe. But I'm accustomed to that. Thanks again.MartinPs Thanks Noob. We posted at the same time. You must be coming in to. I still spect to see my name on the credits!!!! If I told you what happen when I 1st listen to the song you would not believe me...
I was at home browsing the forum, I saw Mr. Martin James post... I open the link and clip play to listen to the song... not even 30 seconds after the song started my dog began howling...
Quote from: DEMON on August 25, 2009, 07:19:17 AMI was at home browsing the forum, I saw Mr. Martin James post... I open the link and clip play to listen to the song... not even 30 seconds after the song started my dog began howling... Tell the dog thanks for the comment. And u got to witness first hand why music is such a big deal in the history of civilization. Because we are anatomically wired to respond to it, even if we have no idea what is is...and are incapable of understanding the explaination...like the dog.I always thought it was cool that dog's howled when u play the harmonica in front of them. ps...I'm glad to find out that you didn't cry or something.
Give a full 2 counts between roomates with rings...3-4-...with furniture and things.. Have "with land on the "and"on 4 and furniture on one.easy on the stacatto on the verses. V2 was done really well. Let it flow into each word. Sing it sad, like you have been pondering this for a long time...Throw in a chord change and a hook between the chorus and V3. Change it up a bit for the hook. Sounds like you are playing in G. Maybe switch the hook and last chorus to D. Like the hard change in George Strait's Troubador.
nicely done , I think, personally it may have more impact with a female voice. but it sounded pretty good in the rough.
Quote from: captainlon on August 25, 2009, 07:59:32 AM nicely done , I think, personally it may have more impact with a female voice. but it sounded pretty good in the rough.In my opinion it is best sung by a man...it is so typical for a woman to sing "lost the love" type of songs...it is good to hear men sing about how they too can feel hurt and loss.
