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Author Topic: New Bike  (Read 1867 times)

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RocknRoll

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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  • Posts: 1636
  • Kingwood, TX
New Bike
« on: January 31, 2007, 09:21:15 AM »
I bought a new 2007 Gold Wing and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn't figure out how the sound system worked. The salesman explained that the system was voice activated.

"Watch this!" he said,  "Nelson!" The system replied, "Ricky or Willie?"  "Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.  Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them.  I yelled, "Assholes!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE this bike!

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Wanna make God laugh?  -  Tell him your plans!

Wanna make God angry?  -  Treat Him with indifference!

KEBS

  • Master Tejano Rider
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  • Posts: 830
  • Spring, Texas
Re: New Bike
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2007, 09:47:01 AM »
cool O0 O0 ;D
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Becca
2002 Silver VTX 1800C - no more it's gone gone
2007 FXSTSSE (HD Soft Tail Springer Screaming Eagle 110)
2008 Suzuki Hayabusa

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jmdaniel

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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  • My other toy, '77 FJ40...
Re: New Bike
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2007, 12:01:48 PM »
and if a kid ran out in front of you, and you screamed "F**king KIDS!", Michael Jackson would be belting out the tunes...  :D ;D
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

2016 Honda F6B Deluxe
2007 Yamaha FJR1300A
2003 Honda VTX 1300

hipshot

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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  • New Caney, TX
Re: New Bike
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2007, 12:06:50 PM »
 O0
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02 1800C

justin69

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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Re: New Bike
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2007, 05:25:23 PM »
Quote from: jmdaniel on January 31, 2007, 12:01:48 PM
and if a kid ran out in front of you, and you screamed "F**king KIDS!", Michael Jackson would be belting out the tunes...  :D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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 OCIFFER, I SweAr To DRunK I'M NoT GoD!!!!


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pacrat

  • Master Tejano Rider
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  • Cypress,Texas
Re: New Bike
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2007, 07:16:01 PM »
Justin-- I can tolerate damn near anything.  However, a picture of that %^**#^#$^$*&**(*& hole ranks right up there with a crash and burn.  Please don't do that again, I just ate. 
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Snake Doc

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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  • San Antonio
Re: New Bike
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2007, 10:57:44 PM »
Quote from: jmdaniel on January 31, 2007, 12:01:48 PM
and if a kid ran out in front of you, and you screamed "F**king KIDS!", Michael Jackson would be belting out the tunes...  :D ;D

I'd be sweating worse than Michael Jackson at a Boy Scout campout.
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My three favorite boxers:
1905-1974 James J. "Cinderella Man" Braddock
2006 Goldwing Nav
2020 Subaru Forester Touring

Snake Doc

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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  • San Antonio
Re: New Bike
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2007, 10:59:11 PM »
I read that Michael Jackson's group was "Boyz to Men" until someone broke the news that they weren't a delivery service.
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My three favorite boxers:
1905-1974 James J. "Cinderella Man" Braddock
2006 Goldwing Nav
2020 Subaru Forester Touring

jmdaniel

  • Texas X Rider OverLord
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  • My other toy, '77 FJ40...
Re: New Bike
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2007, 06:07:21 AM »
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

How does MJ pick his nose?
From a catalog.

What's the difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One's white, made out of plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in.

How do we know MJ is guilty?
Because he's been fingered by several children.

How do you know when it's bedtime at Neverland?
When the big hand is on the little hand.

What is MJ's new book called?
The Ins & Outs of Child Rearing.

Why does MJ want to be a jockey?
Because he heard they ride 3 year olds.

What's the hardest stain to get out of little boy's underpants?
MJ's make-up.

 :o ;D
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

2016 Honda F6B Deluxe
2007 Yamaha FJR1300A
2003 Honda VTX 1300

Capt. Howdy

  • Rider
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  • Posts: 42
  • denton, tx
Re: New Bike
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2007, 12:32:16 PM »
Why does MJ like forty seven year olds?




because there are forty of them!  ;D ;D
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There are three kinds of people in this world, those that can count and those who can't!!

hooter

  • Master of Monumental Proportions
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  • Itasca (just North of Hillsboro on sceanic I-35W)
Re: New Bike
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2007, 01:35:16 PM »
BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
LMAO at that one Howdie :D :D :D
« Last Edit: February 01, 2007, 01:37:41 PM by hooter »
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