Top Ten Miss USA Excuses
10. "Thought a slutty Miss USA could help make America popular again"
9. "Haven't been myself since I heard Rumsfeld was retiring"
8. "Cracked under the pressure of having to smile and wave at people for a year"
7. "Russians drugged my sushi"
6. "If a hot babe can't get drunk, sleep around and make out with her female roommate, the terrorists have won"
5. "I told them my talent was 'beer pong'"
4. "It's Isiah Thomas' fault"
3. "Too drunk to think of a number 3"
2. "Wanted to skip straight to the has-been portion of my career"
1. "Why should Paris Hilton get all the 'drunken whore' ink?"
